Answering Questions from the Past
In my recent self-reflection, I've started to wonder, "would the old Will (pre-University) like the new Will (post-University)?" I try to walk too many fine lines, like between changing for the good and staying true to my original convictions. "Would high school Will see youth pastor Will as a credible pastor?" Not that I have full control of the spiritual development of these kids, but I wonder if it is more noble to try to shape them to who I am now, or to who I was at their age? Ideally of course, my job is to teach them, and to avail to them all the tools necessary for their own spiritual quests, but try as we do, it is almost impossible to remove our own agendas from everything we do. I certainly wouldn't want to take someone and place them where I am on my spiritual journey, facing the questions and tough decisions that I am, as we all are on our various journeys, spiritual or not, without first conveying to them the knowledge and understanding that I have. Lean not on your own understanding. The spiritual questions are more prevalent now mostly because of my new job, but other questions remain, especially ones contrasting past and present. "If I am right, and being single is not punishment, but an opportunity to become a better man, than am I the better man that I hoped I'd be at 16? at 18? at 21? at 23?" This isn't me fishing for compliments, for the most part I have satisfactory answers to these questions, but this is me pondering out-loud, or at least visually, in such a way as to get you, the reader, to ask yourself these questions. As much as I like to look back and think that I have progressed from an awkward teenager, I still have to answer the questions he would be asking. I was smarter then than I like to admit now, you likely were too.

   [ posted by William @ 12:03 AM ]