Transitions, Then and Now
Being in a transitional part of my life, I have been going through some big changes recently. Being an over analytical person by nature, in anticipation for these transitions, I usually fret over their signifigance. I remember thinking that Europe would somehow feel different, but it didn't. I got off the plane and didn't feel any different, just tired. Nothing big happened along the way to indicate to me that I was indeed in Europe. I thought I'd feel different as an 18 year old, a University student, a 21 year old, a pastor and as a car owner. Those events however, have come and gone, with the fundamental core of my being remaining in tact. So was I crazy to suspect that these events would instantaneously alter me? I certainly would not be the only one to have thought that. But certainly, looking back, those events did set off a series of events that each caused a gradual impact in my understanding of life etc. Certainly I want to be recognizable to my friends that I've met along the way, and not change completely who I am. However, each change, hopefully most of them are for the better, takes me farther away from who I am, but at the same time, gives me a better understanding of where I've come from.
So at 25, driving my car, to my church, I know that a sequence of events has brought me to this point. I think and feel differently about myself than I did taking the bus to high school. Hopefullly, a few years down the road, when I'm raising a family working in a career, that guided progression of changes will continue, also for the better. That also means that now, I have less to worry about, having less reason to be afraid of what lies ahead. Unless it means that I have always lived a dull and dreary existence, and that will likely continue. Anyway, what's scarey is that I haven't been listening to my own advice. I don't itch mosquito bites, and I don't sniffle when I have a cold. It's mind over matter. How do I control my bodies impulses like that, I just do. So how do you proceed toward changes that scare you out of your mind? You just do.

   [ posted by William @ 5:57 PM ]