Transitions, Then and Now
Being in a transitional part of my life, I have been going through some big changes recently. Being an over analytical person by nature, in anticipation for these transitions, I usually fret over their signifigance. I remember thinking that Europe would somehow feel different, but it didn't. I got off the plane and didn't feel any different, just tired. Nothing big happened along the way to indicate to me that I was indeed in Europe. I thought I'd feel different as an 18 year old, a University student, a 21 year old, a pastor and as a car owner. Those events however, have come and gone, with the fundamental core of my being remaining in tact. So was I crazy to suspect that these events would instantaneously alter me? I certainly would not be the only one to have thought that. But certainly, looking back, those events did set off a series of events that each caused a gradual impact in my understanding of life etc. Certainly I want to be recognizable to my friends that I've met along the way, and not change completely who I am. However, each change, hopefully most of them are for the better, takes me farther away from who I am, but at the same time, gives me a better understanding of where I've come from.
So at 25, driving my car, to my church, I know that a sequence of events has brought me to this point. I think and feel differently about myself than I did taking the bus to high school. Hopefullly, a few years down the road, when I'm raising a family working in a career, that guided progression of changes will continue, also for the better. That also means that now, I have less to worry about, having less reason to be afraid of what lies ahead. Unless it means that I have always lived a dull and dreary existence, and that will likely continue. Anyway, what's scarey is that I haven't been listening to my own advice. I don't itch mosquito bites, and I don't sniffle when I have a cold. It's mind over matter. How do I control my bodies impulses like that, I just do. So how do you proceed toward changes that scare you out of your mind? You just do.

   [ posted by William @ 5:57 PM ]

Plates of Wrath
So I finally have a car. Along the process I of course had to get a set of license plates for it. At the MTO office, I asked what the price difference was between the normal plates, and the one's with the various logos on the side. So for roughly $30 extra, I ordered a set of Ottawa Senators plates, so I can proclaim my hockey allegiances to the world. I also asked if I could pick which particular one from their available plates. The woman informed me that I would only be given the one at the top of the pile. When she brought it out, I was quite excited to find that my new plates had the jersey numbers of both Martin Havlat and Daniel Alfredsson on it, two of my favourite Senators. The customary format for these plates is two numbers followed by a two letter code for the symbol (SE in my case for Senators), followed by another pair of numbers. My plates however seemed to convey a different meaning, and it didn't clue in for me until someone pointed it out. Havlat's number of course is 9 and Alfedsson's is 11, so my plates read 09SE11. Very easily taken to resemble September 11th. In fact, I can't think of any way that a random, non-personalized plate could look anymore like September 11th. I like them, but I'm not sure what other drivers will think. Whether they think I'm a terrorist or a fire-fighter in remembrance, it should definitely make for interesting questions.

   [ posted by William @ 3:58 PM ]

But look, the snow softly falls
Freshly fallen snow is one of the many beauties of winter. With the snow just softly sitting there, on tree branches, riverbanks, other people's cars, etc., it's truly beautiful. But then, by the next morning, the elements have gotten to it. It has since been shaken from the branches, brushed off of vehicles and been exposed to sand and dirt. Wandering humans and animals have also disturbed the peaceful resting of the snow by trudging through it en route to wherever they are going. But it is not just in walking that these passer-bys have altered the appearance of the snow, it is also with their urine. Animal urine is not particularly pleasing to the eye, and human urine, by definition, shouldn't be interesting either, but for some reason, it is to me.
There are certain characteristics that distinguish the human from the animal variety. Human urine generally falls from a higher point, and thus makes a deeper imprint in the snow, unless your terrain is frequented by cows, horses, deer etc., or it can also mean that it hits the tree at a higher point. It is occasionally accompanied by shoe or boot footprints. The most interesting point however, is that it tends to more artistic.
Recently I was walking through the woods with a few female friends, down a trail on which I had walked the night before. Along the way I stopped and pointed at a coloured patch of snow beside us and said, "Look, someone wrote their name in the snow." I heard a quick Pavlovian "Ewww!" then was swiftly swatted after they read in capital letters, "WILL".
While some would like to tut-tut this seemingly obscene male artform, I encourage it. This morning, I saw that some guy named Dan left his name in the snow along the path. It was legible and indicated a general level of sobriety. It is essentially a harmless and very temporary form of vandalism. I spelled out my name today for anyone taking the same path to campus as me, even though it would have been snowed over in the next half hour. I will however likely do it again before the winter's over. I encourage anyone who can to do the same.

   [ posted by William @ 9:58 PM ]

Detroit and Back
This past weekend, I attended the North American Auto Show in Detroit, Michigan. It was my first trip to the US in a long time, and one of my few ventures into the automotive world. It was fun looking at nice shiny new cars, and spending time with my brothers, but other stuff happened along the way.
- The drive down was boring as expected, but at least I got to talk to my brothers along the way. I don't care how much you love Leamington etc., the drive from London to Windsor is dull, dull, dull.
- Being a car show, of course we were all encouraged to look at and touch the cars as we wanted. This of course means that the cars would need to be wiped down from time to time. So there was a whole crew of people who's sole job it was to wipe down the cars, and that crew was almost exclusively black. I say almost, because there may have existed somewhere in the building a white car wiper, but I sure didn't see one. I know they were getting paid, but it seemed as though I was walking back into Michigan's slavery era.
- Originality seems to be frowned upon in the automobile industry. Among the new and impressive models this year, were a lot of SUVs and Hummer rip-offs. Hummer's third line (the H3) vehicle looked less like a Hummer than the Ford Bronco whatever did. There were almost no concept cars compared to other years too. I like looking at and sitting in sleek expensive cars, but I want to at least be able to look at somebody's idea of what a weird car possibly could look like.
- I always thought that my black exposure in my little, pre-dominantly white, Canadian city wasn't quite complete, and in Detroit I had that verified. Local black kids get a passing grade in looking the part. In Detroit I saw a few guys dressed in out fits I'd only previously seen in rap videos, like I mean right P.I.M.P.'d up. I also heard ebonics in person for the first time a while. Admittedly, I don't make it to the black neighbourhoods of Toronto too often, but the conversations I overhear on the GRT (KW's transit system) imply to me that ebonics is not a Canadian thing.
- I try to compensate for the ways in which I am not a man's man, but walking around the car show, listening to guy's explain to each other various benefits of various designs of various parts of various engines, I realized, I still know little to nothing about cars. I would sooner discuss the way the car looks than be wowed by the number of horsepower or the engine size. My response would generally be, "Clearly nobody needs that much power, and really, that shade of brown interior does not suit that shade of blue exterior."
- I love Mexican food. We went to a Mexican restaurant that I had been to before, but only as a kid on a 1980's cross-border shopping trip. It was as good and better than I remembered it. Driving around the desolate Hispanic neighbourhood trying to find the place and being called senor multiple times by the waiter convinced me of the place's authenticity before I even took a bite.
Since I didn't get fingerprinted and retina scanned at the border, maybe I'll visit the US again. Next stop: Nashville.

   [ posted by William @ 4:36 PM ]

Answering Questions from the Past
In my recent self-reflection, I've started to wonder, "would the old Will (pre-University) like the new Will (post-University)?" I try to walk too many fine lines, like between changing for the good and staying true to my original convictions. "Would high school Will see youth pastor Will as a credible pastor?" Not that I have full control of the spiritual development of these kids, but I wonder if it is more noble to try to shape them to who I am now, or to who I was at their age? Ideally of course, my job is to teach them, and to avail to them all the tools necessary for their own spiritual quests, but try as we do, it is almost impossible to remove our own agendas from everything we do. I certainly wouldn't want to take someone and place them where I am on my spiritual journey, facing the questions and tough decisions that I am, as we all are on our various journeys, spiritual or not, without first conveying to them the knowledge and understanding that I have. Lean not on your own understanding. The spiritual questions are more prevalent now mostly because of my new job, but other questions remain, especially ones contrasting past and present. "If I am right, and being single is not punishment, but an opportunity to become a better man, than am I the better man that I hoped I'd be at 16? at 18? at 21? at 23?" This isn't me fishing for compliments, for the most part I have satisfactory answers to these questions, but this is me pondering out-loud, or at least visually, in such a way as to get you, the reader, to ask yourself these questions. As much as I like to look back and think that I have progressed from an awkward teenager, I still have to answer the questions he would be asking. I was smarter then than I like to admit now, you likely were too.

   [ posted by William @ 12:03 AM ]

What's in a nickname? Part III
After pondering the monickers of professional sports teams and of Anabaptist schools, I turn to my own nicknames. Some of you may have heard that I have just accepted a position as a youth pastor in a local congregation. I was in conversation with a few members of my new church, and they were asking me what I wanted to be called. I hadn't really put much thought into the subject until then. Pastor Will would work, and I've already realized how weird it is be called that. I could also now list myself as Reverend William Loewen in the phone book, and I'm not sure I'll be able to resist that urge. That very title directly means "deserving reverence", and as a humble shepherd of a "priesthood of all believers" flock, I'm not sure that title would be completely appropriate. Not being a fan of the catholic view of the role of the priest, I don't want to take on any particularly catholic titles, so that knocks most of the names that came up using my handy-dandy thesaurus. For a little while, some people, including readers of this blog, called me "Reverend", or even "the good Reverend" but now that it's my official position, I'm not sure if there is any particular ring to Reverend Will or even Rev Will, let alone the implications made by the direct definition of the title. Some of the more interesting synonyms for pastor are "sky pilot" and "Holy Joe", neither of which really fit me. "Parson" is nice, although it implies to me that I'd be working with an Amish congregation. I think the one that I like the most is "Ecclesiast", but it doesn't quite roll off the tongue. I'm open to any suggestions from any of you as well. I came to the realization however, that no matter how badly I want them to call me something else, odds are that they will always call me Pastor Will, and that's good enough for me.

   [ posted by William @ 11:31 AM ]

What's in a nickname? Part II
Choosing a nickname for a sports franchise, or school team name is not always an easy process. Often naming contests are held, perhaps to add hype to the new team, but also to tap into the larger resource of public knowledge and creative opinion. There are also sensitive issues at various times. The stories of the Washington Redskins and University of Illinois Illinis are well known, but perhaps lesser known is the story of Rockway Mennonite Collegiate, my former employer. Being funded mostly by pacifist Mennonite Churches, the naming of their school's mascot was a complicated process. The issue was, that as a school created as a war time withdrawal from larger society and as pacifist Christians, it would be hypocritical to tout your pacifistic beliefs and then proudly wear the uniform and proudly cheer the mascot of something that implies violence. Certainly a battle related name, such as the Warriors of the nearby University of Waterloo, would be inappropriate. Even an nickname like Hawks or Falcons would imply an unhealthy level of aggression for a group of pacifist athletes. After much debate, the school finally settled on Flames, a name which is used in other sports circles, so is acceptable as a team nickname, but also symbolizes the historical martyrdom of Mennonite and Anabaptist believers. If it had been up to me at the time, other names could also be used. After much thought, my second favourite name would be the Rockway Pilgrams. A typo you say? No, Pilgram Marpeck was a very influential Anabaptist writer, who balanced a professional engineering post and Anabaptist beliefs, certainly a role model to many students within an academic Anabaptist setting. My personal favourite however, is the Rockway Radicals. Not only is it a clever alliteration, but it is historically relevant (the Anabaptist wing of the Reformation is often referred to as the Radical Reformation) and the name conveys a mental disposition that many youths find favourable. Too bad my job there was defined as Teaching Assistant rather than Mascot Naming Committee Chairman.

   [ posted by William @ 3:42 PM ]

What's in a nickname?
One of my first exposures to casual sports gambling was an episode of Cheers where bar staff and regulars had a football pool. What made the episode funny, was that Diane, the artsy-fartsy non-sportsy barmaid, had won the pool that particular week and had shown a certain level of dominance over the course of the season. Norm asked her how she had known to pick the underdog Chicago to beat the powerhouse Miami. She looked at him and said, "Now Norman, come on, a bear and dolphin? That's hardly even a fight!" She suggested that the next week she would test her theory on dominance of state flowers. So in her folly was the comedy of the show, right? In my case, I later realized the wisdom of her external source of sports entropy. In my current pick-em pools (where you have to say who will cover the spread, the spread dictates how much the favourite should win by) I always strive to keep ahead of either 50% correct, or all home teams covering, which isn't as easy as it sounds. In a grade 8 in-class stock market contest held in conjunction with a newspaper contest, I lost to the monkey who's only tool was a rolodex with the stock names. In a pool this year where we had to guess who would win the various US college football bowl games, John, a professional pool prognosticator in his own right, came third out of 11 by picking the alphabetically first team in each game. So again I got to wondering about Miss Chambers' selection method. I took the four big North American leagues and classified their various mascots. Together with a friend I determined that the minimal expectation is that it at least is human. While not all "People" names do not convey the same level of strands, intimidation, etc (Cowboys, Warriors, Athletics, canoe's), they at least are not a step down in power. Other categories of power included "Mammals" (Panthers, Tigers), "Machines" (Jets, Pistons), "Predatory Birds" (Eagles, Blackhawks) [I refused to classify Mighty Ducks with Hawks], and "Weather" (Hurricanes, Heat). I also had "Symbolic" (Nets, Capitals) and "Weak" (Cardinals, Maple Leafs) whose strength was minimal at best. There other debatable categories, such as "Mythical" where such a creature doesn't exist in a physical enough sense to adequately debate the possibility of such a battle (Titans, Devils), and "Other Strong Animals" who are mighty in their own right but their are limitations as well (Sharks, Hornets, Raptors). So when you remove all People and Weak teams, the NFL, with it's high number of Mammal teams wins the strongest and coolest names contest, and while the NHL could make a case for the invinsibility of Hurricanes, Avalanches and Lightning, a league with Mighty Ducks, Penguins and Blues loses it's case for strength pretty quickly. My ranking is NFL, NBA, MLB then NHL. Your rankings and comments are welcome.

   [ posted by William @ 12:10 AM ]

On Randoms and Retrospectives
Maybe we were spoiled. Maybe New Years 2000 was such a big deal, that nothing after it will ever match it. Sure it had it's high and low points, but 2003 is just another random year. 2004 isn't really the start of anything new, at least not new enough that it would set off retrospectives of the last 5, 10, 100 or 1000 years. In the days leading up to New Year's Eve, we are bombarded with retrospectives of the passing year. We get to see all the great things that happened in 2003 that will make it a memorable year. Then we celebrate it's passing with champagne, loud noise makers and confetti. I have trouble getting excited about the celebration of New Year's Eve (there are those who would say I have trouble getting excited about anything), so maybe I'm not qualified to comment on it. Watching the coverage on TV (I watched the City TV coverage of the Toronto celebration), the people at midnight, were really excited, or they were just really good at faking it. If the days from Christmas to New Years are supposed to be a happy nostalgic trip through the past year, then why do we get so excited to see it pass? If it's about familiarizing ourselves more with the entity of 2003, then why not remind ourselves of the sadnesses as well as the triumphs. As I watched the revellers at Nathan Phillips square, I asked myself, "Did they have such a bad year? Has someone assured them that 2004 will be better?" New Years has always been a time to celebrate, and maybe that's what I'm missing here. Sure, the departure of something bad warrants a celebration, as does the arrival of something good, but 2003 was largely a random year, and we have no reason to believe that 2004 won't be. Every other day of the year we bemoan the passage of time, so why then, on the last day, do we celebrate it?

   [ posted by William @ 11:57 AM ]